The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 27 〉 Chapter 27. Making Preparations.

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Today's chapter has a small afterword.

**

I extended one hand towards the open window, enjoying the sensation.

Another raindrop landed on the back of my hand, already soaked.

My hand, with no time to dry, was spending an endless amount of time amidst the relentless downpour.

Drip, drip. I heard the sound.

The raindrops, tapping against the window at regular intervals, had a mesmerizing charm. A gift from the heavens, calming the listener's heart, allowing them to look deep within themselves.

And a solace for those who walk with their heads down, unable to perceive the world beyond their immediate surroundings, a world that those trapped in the daily grind couldn't comprehend.

"....Refreshing."

Drip. Drip. Drip.

The falling raindrops were, naturally, chillingly cold.

On days like this, when the rain poured, I wanted to cast aside my umbrella and freely roam the streets, embracing the elements.

It would be so much fun to lie down in a puddle and gaze up at the sky.

But I, who wasn't even allowed to freely step outside the house, could only pathetically extend my hand out the window, trapped inside.

A small cage.

"Ugh..."

Fidget, fidget.

I mindlessly toyed with the innocent bandage covering my eyes.

"I want to see… Big Sis Elli's face…"

The bandage, tied tightly around my eyes, was as unyielding as the will of the person who tied it, making it difficult to remove.

Does she really have no intention of removing this bandage?

Six months.

A short time, yet a long time.

The time Elli has spent living in this false reality.

Just like I, running from Anna, eventually reached a cliff, Big Sis Elli will also reach her limit someday.

Or perhaps, she's already there.

I was a little disappointed that she wasn't telling me her secret, but in a way, it also meant that she cared about me that much, so I couldn't help but feel happy.

"Heehee."

I touched my chest with my left hand, which had recently regained its mobility.

Thump, thump, I felt a small beat.

My heart was beating.

If she thought of me as just another weed, growing everywhere, there would be no reason to hide it, right?

The person you least want to know your secret is the one you love the most.

The mere fact that someone with a secret they don't want me to know exists is enough to make me feel overjoyed.

"But time is running out… Big Sis…"

However, even that is coming to an end.

I really wanted to wait until the day she gathered her courage, but Elli's lies were too clumsy.

If it were anyone else but me, her secret would have already been exposed, and our relationship would have crumbled.

It would be easier for her to blind me and keep me by her side than to suffer from the constant fear of her lies being discovered.

If Big Sis Elli decided to keep me by her side forever, I was willing to accept everything, but unfortunately, she wasn't strong enough to make such a cruel decision.

It's a real shame.

"—Because it's time to be born."

Of course, I know that only after smashing, breaking, and shattering the shell with its own head can a chick truly become a hawk that rules the sky.

But a chick that can't break its shell, forever struggling, will eventually die.

It's too pitiful to call it just the law of nature.

To end a once-in-a-lifetime life without even spreading its wings.

—So, I have no choice but to help, right?

"The raindrops, drip, drip—"

Now then, let's think.

About a plan to break Big Sis Elli's shell.

Drip, drip.

Drip, drip.

I brought my right hand back inside from the window.

My right hand, which had been exposed to the falling raindrops and the harsh wind for over an hour, was as cold as ice.

For a moment, I was suddenly curious about the taste of raindrops, so I licked it as a test, but it didn't have any particular taste.

Only after licking it did I remember. I can't taste things properly.

Ugh…

Feeling dejected, like I had been heartbroken, I tucked my stiff hand between my legs. I felt a tingling sensation as warmth returned to it.

The posture of bringing my legs together and tucking my hand between them was strangely comforting and secure.

"Warm..."

Burying my head in my knees, I started planning.

Drip, drip, the rain and wind showed no signs of stopping, only intensifying.

A clear sound, one I could listen to forever.

"....Wheeee~"

To be honest, it's a simple task.

All I have to do is remove the bandage in front of her and see Elli's true form.

That alone would shatter the false reality she had painstakingly built, and time, which had stopped, would start flowing again.

But that would be, deception.

A subject of ridicule, not even worthy of being called a comedy.

Taking off the bandage while we're having a meal, like always? It might provide a momentary shock to the audience, but there's no demand for such a bland drama.

A work devoid of justification, plausibility, a rising atmosphere, the protagonist's struggles and hardships, or even a single element that evokes emotions.

Such a work has no reason to exist.

Tap, tap, thud.

"....Drip… drip… drip."

Aristotle once said.

Within the plot of a tragedy, there should be no illogical elements, no matter how small, and even in inevitable cases, the ending should be brought about by external factors of the tragedy.

There should be no deus ex machina.

No beings with absolute power, no characters who awaken their powers by chance.

Only people.

It should be imbued with the life of a person with only a single life, a dazzlingly bright human being.

This is for Big Sis Elli,

A story for her, and her alone.

That's why all I could think about was when, where, how, and what I should do to appear before her in the most dramatic way possible.

No matter how talented the actors, a story depicting ordinary life wouldn't resonate with anyone.

A play that fails to captivate the audience is a drain on their energy.

Yes.

Direction is needed.

I considered every element I could artificially control, from acting to setting, props, expressions, and movements.

I will present the best, once-in-a-lifetime event, one that will never come again to Big Sis Elli, who is both the protagonist and audience of this play, to help her move forward.

So, Big Sis Elli.

I'll work hard.

I'll create the best performance for you.

"—Live dangerously. Build your city on the slopes of Vesuvius." (TL Note: This is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche)

Please accept my life, a life which has no reason to exist.

**

There was something called an unwritten rule.

It referred to rules that were mutually understood and followed without needing to be explicitly stated.

In my case, it would be, 'Don't remove the bandage covering your eyes'.

But does Big Sis know? That telling a child not to do something only makes them want to do it even more.

If you tell someone not to think about a pink elephant, they can't help but think about a pink elephant.

Because the frame of 'elephant' is already deeply embedded in their mind.

She had always told me, obsessively,

'Don't remove the bandage'.

So, even if I, who have been patiently enduring, remove the bandage, it can't be helped.

Even if I remove the bandage and wander around looking for Big Sis, who disappeared somewhere, it can't be helped.

If a child who only has her caretaker, her older sister, to rely on wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her gone, she has no choice but to look for her, right?

A small temptation, to remove the bandage.

A child easily falls for it.

Rather, I'm quite proud of myself for enduring this long.

Right?

"...Tap, tap, tap… tap, tap, tap…"

Three or four times a week.

Elli would come into my room at night to check if I was sleeping soundly.

And then, she would disappear.

I didn't know where she went. In the first place, I didn't know anything about the surrounding landscape or geography of this area.

But one thing was certain, she, who never left my side for even a minute except when preparing meals, was going out of the house for hours while I was asleep.

And the next morning, the smell of blood would be so strong on her body that even I could smell it.

When I asked, she said she went hunting.

Really, what kind of animal could she be hunting to have such a strong scent?

Elli would clam up after saying that, and I knew she didn't want to talk about it.

"...Pouring."

As if a hole had been torn in the sky, the rain intensified.

If rain falls because a hole opens in the sky, does that mean there's a blue sea spread out above?

That would be, really fun.

In the end, with the rain starting to come inside the room, I had no choice but to close the window.

The raindrops beat against the closed window.

I listened intently, and along with the tapping sound, I felt the tempo of the song created by the collision of raindrops and glass accelerate.

I tapped on the glass with my finger in response.

Tap, tap, it was music to my ears.

Tap, tap-tap, tap.

The duet continued until my fingers stopped.

Not yet, not yet.

A little more, a little more perfectly.

—Tap!

"........"

For the past two days, Elli hadn't gone out at dawn.

Tomorrow, or at the latest, the day after tomorrow, she would go out.

Even if she didn't, she would still come in to check if I was sleeping soundly before leaving.

If I paid attention to that, there was no way I would miss her movements.

After Elli confirmed that I was asleep and left the house.

—I would remove the bandage and follow her.

The truth that Elli didn't want me to know, more than anything else.

I would reveal it all, on stage.

What kind of face… will Big Sis Elli make?

What will she do to me?

"Tap, tap..."

Exciting.

This is so much fun.

But for now, let's enjoy the sound of the rain.

Quietly....

"........"

**

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