The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 28 〉 Chapter 28. Encounter.

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**

The sun, denied even a glimpse of its own reflection in the dark clouds that blanketed the sky, hid its face beyond the horizon.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.

Insects of unknown species, exchanging calls.

—Snore, snore.

".....Mmm..."

Inside a house, there was a child who had traveled to dreamland, accompanied by those sounds.

The bandages covering her eyes and the horrific scars peeking through the gaps in her loose clothing were evidence of the extraordinary life she had lived.

Perhaps even in her dreams, she was longing for affection. The child, hugging the fluffy rolled up blanket with her whole body, looked incredibly happy.

A sight that would make anyone smile.

".........."

And watching her from a narrow gap, was a pair of eyes.

—Creak.

".........."

".....Hnn..."

The door slowly opened, and two points of light flickered through the widening gap.

In the pitch-black darkness, where even the faint moonlight couldn't penetrate, a pair of red eyes gazed upon the child, deeply asleep, oblivious to the world.

Gazing from a distance, afraid to approach.

The vertically slit pupils, like those of a predator, might be mistaken for the eyes of a beast stalking its prey, but anyone who saw them up close wouldn't think so.

Because those red eyes were filled with undeniable affection for the child.

"........."

"...Huaamh...."

The owner of the eyes, Saelli, stood there for a long time, watching the child sleeping peacefully.

As if determined to never forget that serene expression.

Her small smile held that wish.

"....Sweet dreams."

"....Mmm......"

"Ah...."

She muttered in a low voice, inaudible to the child. As if in response, the child let out a cute mumble in her sleep.

Saelli seemed surprised for a moment and looked at Alice.

"....Haha.."

Her lips curved into a small smile as she watched the child mumbling in her sleep.

The child, deeply asleep, seemed unlikely to wake up anytime soon.

Thinking that there wouldn't be any problems for the next few hours, Saelli quietly left the room, careful not to disturb the child's sleep.

Click, the door was locked.

Faint footsteps, imperceptible to ordinary people, gradually faded away from the room.

Shuffle, shuffle.

Quietly, very quietly.

That way.

Completely.

Disappearing—

—Twitch.

"..........."

The child's finger twitched.

In the darkness, unseen by anyone, the child smiled softly.

Heehee.

A stifled giggle.

It echoed softly beneath the silent night sky.

**

It was a small, selfish desire.

To prepare a meal for someone, to eat together around a table.

To hold hands under the warm sunlight, surrounded by the sweet scent of flowers.

The moment I realized that sleep wasn't just the end of a tiring day, but a prelude to an exciting and anticipated tomorrow, I had to admit it.

That I could never go back to those days.

"—Kwee, kweee!!"

"......."

Someone who has lived in darkness their whole life doesn't know what darkness is.

Likewise, a monster who has always lived in loneliness couldn't comprehend its own loneliness. It gradually became accustomed to the scorn and persecution.

Because that was all it knew.

Because that was its entire life.

—But unfortunately, the monster had fallen in love.

"Kweek!! Kweee, kweeee!"

".....Ah, yes."

One day. Just one day.

I'll tell her everything tomorrow.

That the one who saved her wasn't a kind and trustworthy older sister figure.

But a monster with eerie red eyes, who devoured people and reveled in it, who had been secretly licking her wounds and sucking her blood.

I planned to remove the bandage I had forced upon her and tell her.

The truth I had been hiding.

I was going to tell Alice—

'.....Alice—'

'Big Sis Elli!! Look!! I worked hard to make this—!'

'.......'

'… I-Is it… messy…?'

I was going to—

'Heehee....'

'Aren't you hot?'

'I am, but… I like this better!'

…I was prepared—

'—You can’t leave the bell peppers.'

'… E-Eh… !?'

'....I can see everything.'

'Uh… Uuu…'

.........The truth

'—Big Sis Elli, I love you!!'

'......!!!'

I was, going to.

But, I didn’t want to betray Alice.

The thought of her looking at me with fear in her eyes was too terrifying.

I wanted to protect this short, happy time, built on a fragile glass castle, from being shattered.

I'll tell her tomorrow.

No, next week.

When this month ends.

When spring passes and the flowers wither, I'll tell her everything—

…

A day passed, a week passed, a month passed —and before I knew it, six months had gone by since Alice came to live with me.

But the bandage covering her eyes, which I changed every morning, remained in place for six months.

Tightly, it was firmly tied over her eyes, showing no sign of loosening.

I had missed my chance.

Would it have been different if I had revealed everything to her in the beginning, when we barely knew each other?

If I had confessed everything, prepared to be abandoned, would things have been different?

These what-if’s that haunted me every evening as I tried to sleep.

If this had happened, if that had happened.

If only I had done this, if only I hadn't done that.

At this time, at that time, this time around.

The what-if’s kept coming, and the dissonance between the happy illusion and the harsh reality tormented me until late into the dawn.

No, maybe I should have told her when I was still agonizing over it.

Haha.

Hahaha...

Thud!

"Haa..."

"Kwee… kweee… kwuu…"

But, it's too late now.

It all started with a small act, my attempt to hide my true nature.

Afraid of that lie being exposed, another lie was added.

And another, and another.

Like a snowball, the lies grew larger and larger.

Roll, roll, the snowball rolled. It rolled down a snow-covered mountain.

A small snowball, tightly packed, the size of a small fist.

As it rolled, the small fist became a head, the head becomes a body, the body becomes a person, the person becomes a tree, the tree becomes a forest, and the forest, eventually, became a mountain.

The small lies became flesh and blood, and before I knew it, the lies had transformed into an avalanche, ready to sweep everything away.

Now, there's no turning back.

Really.

Where, did it all go wrong?

—Drag.

“…Kwee… eee…”

“…Haa… haha…”

I see their empty eyes, their life slowly fading.

Even so, for its own life, or perhaps for something else, the boar, clinging to the fading embers of life, tried to move away from me.

Such a meaningless act, nothing more than a momentary struggle.

My reflection appeared in its eyes, small flames of will flickering within them.

In those terrified eyes, a monster is reflected.

A woman, her entire body soaked in blood, holding a crimson lump of flesh, still faintly pulsing, its identity hard to discern.

Rip, I tore a piece of meat from the lump in my hand with my teeth, stretching it long.

Pop, a fresh sound, like juice splattering, can be heard.

In the boar's eyes, now turning white, a figure appeared, its face covered in blood that splattered from the meat.

Ah.

Yes, maybe it was wrong from the beginning.

"—Was I, wrong?"

"........"

The carcass grew cold and stiff.

I knew that the boar, let alone an already dead carcass, couldn't answer.

Even so, I couldn't help but ask. I had to ask.

"Was I, wrong?"

"......."

"Are you trying to say that once again, I, my very existence, is the problem—!!!"

Three days. It had been three days.

That was how long I had endured this filthy, horrible, ugly, repulsive, and hideous act.

The urge, which I used to be able to suppress for over a month, was returning more frequently.

I could still hold on for over a week, but ever since I stopped taking Alice's blood, the interval had shortened rapidly, and now it was difficult to even go a day without.

Of course, I tried to endure it at first.

For the sake of the child sleeping soundly beside me, I tried my best.

I scratched my throat, I broke my fingers, and I even considered pulling out all my teeth.

But, I failed.

My esophagus burned as if I had swallowed boiling oil, and my lungs felt like they were filled with sand.

It's so painful.

It hurts.

It was as if the pain was reminding me that I wasn't human.

Even in the humid, early morning air, my mouth was parched like a desert, craving something to quench this burning thirst.

Blood and flesh.

A small life.

—Alice.

"Puha, hahaha... HAHAHAHA!"

"........"

"Haha... Haha... Hahaha...."

I laughed.

Bent over, squeezing the lump of meat in my hand, I laughed.

Splatter, blood splattered everywhere.

Faced with this miserable reality, I couldn't help but laugh.

—Yes, my body craved Alice.

A sweetness that felt like it would melt my brain, a freshness that cleansed everything in my mouth.

That devilish temptation, a memory I couldn't shake off.

As if mocking my last vow, my choice to prove that I wasn't raising the child like livestock, my body craved the child's flesh and blood.

Yes, this is my punishment.

A punishment for the evil monster, worse than any other, who had captured a pure and innocent canary, bound her entire body, and imprisoned her in a small cage.

"Ha... Haha......"

"......"

As the sun set and countless stars appeared in the night sky, in the place where more lives than the number of those stars awaken and stir.

That bustling place, was now filled only with the sound of my laughter.

The rustling bushes were deathly silent.

Even the animals, even the insects, had covered their mouths.

Afraid of making a sound, afraid of being discovered by me, they desperately moved away.

Fear.

"—Hahaha... HAHAHAHA!!"

Are you, all, afraid of me too?

Yes, you should be.

That fact was so natural, so sickening that I want to vomit, so amusing that I found it hilarious, so infuriating that I wanted to kill them all, so much so that

I had to laugh.

Lost in a trance, I sneered at the lifeless carcasses, unable to answer.

I laughed, and laughed again.

"—Big,sis?"

"—Huh?"

Creak.

My head, turned.

**

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