The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

Join the discord! Here

* * *

〈 Chapter 31 〉 Chapter 31. Sandcastle.

* * *

**

A sandcastle easily crumbles under the passing waves and wind.

It won't last even a few days, its traces vanishing completely, becoming just another part of the beach, its existence forgotten by all.

The small beach is a graveyard of countless sandcastles, built with care by nameless people.

Don't worry too much about your castle crumbling.

"—Because you can always rebuild it."

Something you can rebuild anytime you want.

Something you can recreate with your own two hands, a miniature representation of that day's memories.

That's what a sandcastle is.

So, Big Sis.

You don't have to make such a pained expression, okay?

**

The night's mischief passed without any major incidents.

As is the nature of all pranks, someone cried, and someone laughed.

A way to show affection, a catalyst for a stronger bond, you could call it a prank.

Yes.

A prank that will be easily forgotten.

—Chirp, chirp.

"...Ugh..."

Was it because of last night's brief act of rebellion?

I, who rarely slept in, slowly opened my eyes to the chirping of birds, a sound that told me the sun was already high in the sky.

And then, I saw it.

"Ah."

This is your sunlight.

Oh Shiva, please save me. (TL Note: Shiva is the sun in Hinduism)

Ugh, my eyes.

The sunlight, seen for the first time in six months, was so intense that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The light poured directly into my dilated pupils, unfiltered, and the sheer volume of signals flooding my brain was painful.

To think it would cause pain like this.

I will remember, this grudge!

I squeezed my eyes shut and covered them with both hands, trying to protect my vision. I twisted and turned, and the movement sent objects around me tumbling to the floor.

Clang, crash.

Objects made of easily breakable materials shattered against the floor, sending sharp shards flying in all directions.

The sharp fragments flew towards me too, leaving small cuts.

I couldn't see with my eyes covered, but the floor must have been a mess.

And amidst the chaos.

My left wrist collided with the wall.

Thud.

A small impact.

I wish the pain was as small as the sound.

But unfortunately, it seemed they were inversely proportional.

".....!!!!"

The pain was so unbearable that I couldn't even scream.

I felt cold, hot, pain, ticklish, and a burning sensation, all at once.

Starting from the severed end, waves of pain, exceeding all limits, surged through me.

The pain spread throughout my hand, as if each of the tiny severed nerves were screaming in agony.

My left hand, which should have been gone, which I had confirmed was crushed and devoured, felt like it still existed, like it was being held and tortured by someone else.

Tingle, tingle.

My brain protested, overwhelmed by sensations beyond its capacity.

I wasn't sensitive to pain, so the world had always seemed distant and detached. But there was one type of pain that bypassed all filters and reached me directly.

And that was, the phantom pain I was feeling now.

"Ah.... It hurts..... Uh… Big Sis…"

Thanks to my countless experiences and the resilience I had built up, I soon got used to the pain, but I couldn't help but sigh at the thought of the ordeal that awaited me.

Hngg.

I could only let out a sharp moan, experiencing the strange sensation of touching my empty wrist.

It continued until Big Sis Elli, sensing the commotion in my room, rushed upstairs in a panic.

**

Bang.

The door burst open, creating a gust of wind in the quiet room.

"—Alice!!"

"Ah.... B-Big Sis.."

Thump, thump, Elli rushed towards me, seemingly grasping the situation.

Her voice was dark as she asked about my well-being, but she walked towards me with a confident stride, facing me head-on without any hesitation.

What is this, Big Sis?

You’re here, by my side.

You didn’t run away?

That discovery, made me so happy.

Elli, who had always been so quick to run away and reject, was now trying to face the consequences of her actions head-on, not running away from the horrifying scene she had created.

If it were her when we first met, or the Elli who had hidden her secret and deceived me, she wouldn't have done this.

The moment she devoured my hand, to escape the weight of her guilt, she would have kept going, consuming me completely without leaving a trace — or she would have run away, leaving me behind in this remote house.

And then, she would have tried to atone for her sins, secretly watching over me from afar until the day I died of old age.

Even if I searched for her, she would never reveal herself.

Without a care for my feelings.

Just to alleviate her guilt.

Naturally, that was unacceptable to me.

Because it would be nothing but deception.

Well, if she had done that, I would have gone out into the yard and attempted suicide just to bring her back.

—It seems Big Sis Elli had grown up more than I had imagined.

To appear before me so confidently, what a courageous act.

Reflection.

To look back at one's mistakes and actions, to feel ashamed of them, and to make a firm resolution to never repeat them.

Yes. You shouldn't dwell on the past, but look toward the future.

Because humans live looking forward, and that's the true driving force of growth.

I was so proud that Elli had realized that.

She walked towards my bed, seemingly unconcerned about the shards of glass scattered on the floor, crushing them under her feet.

I trembled, my eyes tightly shut, and reached out, accepting the hand she extended towards me.

I grabbed her hand with my outstretched right hand and my left arm, which only had a forearm left, and hugged it tightly.

As if to prevent her from abandoning me and running away.

Like a child clinging to their parent's leg to keep them from leaving for work.

Squeeze, I hug her hand tightly.

With a tearful voice, I spoke to Elli.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Big Sis... Don't leave me... I was wrong..."

"....."

"Hmm? I… I won't… go out at night… anymore… I’ll keep my eyes closed!! So… Big Sis Elli—"

"—Alice."

A strong voice, filled with determination.

An overwhelming pressure, as if something significant was about to happen.

That one word, made me feel like all my efforts had been rewarded.

My hard work, wasn’t in vain.

This moment, was the only time I truly felt alive.

She pulled me towards her, and my body was enveloped in her wide embrace.

It was warmer than usual, so hot it felt like she would melt me away.

I heard her voice, even more passionate, close to my ear.

"I'm sorry."

"....Huh...?"

It was a confession.

It felt like her words were transmitted directly into my mind, not through the air, but through the trembling vibrations of her chest.

A confession that resonated in my heart, my mind, my very being.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For deceiving you, for using you, for holding you back, for confining you."

"...Big Sis… Elli...?"

"It's all my fault. I was wrong. So now, I won't run away anymore. I won't turn away anymore."

A declaration, filled with firm resolve.

"So... please..."

"....Ah."

Her delicate fingers, caressed my eyelids.

Despite my strong will to keep them closed, at her gentle touch my eyelids fluttered open, as if they had always been meant to.

My vision, was filled with a blinding white light.

Amidst that bright background, I saw black hair, standing out prominently.

Blood-red eyes, slit like those of a beast, were looking down at me.

Drip, drip.

Tears fell from those eyes, one by one, wetting my face.

Elli's eyes were bloodshot, and her hair and face were covered in unidentifiable grime, as if she hadn't slept or washed properly.

A truly pathetic sight.

You could even call it, filthy.

But at this moment, Elli, standing before me, felt more beautiful than anyone else.

Beautiful.

I want her.

Perhaps, even though it was just a fleeting moment, I might have experienced true love in this life.

That's how brightly she was shining.

Bright enough to make me jealous.

"Please…accept my apology…"

"...Big Sis…"

It's incredibly painful to confess something you've been hiding from everyone.

It's incredibly difficult to face and acknowledge your own mistakes.

But through those things, we can truly change.

Just like Elli right now.

The relationships you've built might crumble.

The friendships you've painstakingly cultivated might vanish overnight.

But if you worry about such things, you'll only be stuck in the same place.

Unable to meet anyone new, unable to tell a new story, you'll live a life of isolation.

"Alice... I'm truly… sorry."

"......Hehe."

So.

So, we have to keep building our own sandcastle.

Even if it gets swept away by the waves.

"—Big Sis Elli."

".....Yes."

I was a little disappointed that I had lost one hand to touch her with, but…

I could smile, at the fact that she had confessed everything to me.

Because our relationship, was starting anew, right now.

"—I love you."

**

Jealousy has green eyes.

***

I’ll be back with the next chapter, the conclusion of Chapter 2.

* * *