The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 4 〉 Chapter 4. Crack.

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**

The family bonding time I felt after so long was truly enjoyable.

Even if I grew up under the care of parents, most of my childhood was spent without receiving proper affection.

And yet, to be born as a princess, even as the third child…

"What are you going to do today~?"

"Hmm... I'm going to practice swordsmanship!"

"Again?"

"Yes!"

With those words, I left big sis Remi and ran towards the training grounds. I heard Remi's calls to play more from behind, but I ignored them. Her affection is too overwhelming...!

I wonder if that sister will ever get married?

I thought as I ran.

How many times have I reincarnated?

I stopped counting once it passed three digits, so I'm not sure.

It's been quite a while since then, so wouldn't it be at least four digits by now? Not that counting matters.

When I was just a single digit, every day was new and exciting.

Yes, it was fun at first.

It was fun to be called a genius by others occasionally, and to do things I couldn't do before without worrying too much.

Then, when was it?

I realized that my life had only been about trampling and stealing the single lives of others.

Things that should have rightfully belonged to someone else.

Using the cheat-like knowledge gained from repeated lives to steal those things, I, as a person, was merely complaining about trivial matters, like being born into a family with unfortunate circumstances, or not liking the body I was born into.

While others were working hard to live each day.

And I was complaining about such things.

Stealing the places, the food, the affection of those living a genuine life—

The moment I realized that, I hanged myself.

After that, I remember committing suicide dozens of times due to sudden existential crises.

I tried slitting my throat, drowning in the sea, setting myself on fire, and even went mad, being treated like a lunatic and having my head chopped off by a guillotineㅡ

Well, there's no need to worry about it now. It's all in the past.

Anyway, reincarnation was truly unpredictable.

When I was just past three digits, I tried to find some regularity in reincarnation to escape this maddening world, but it was useless.

The only thing I learned was that it was completely random.

There wasn't even a glimpse of an escape route.

Now, I've just let go. And that's how I found peace.

Being reborn in a medieval world with fantasy elements twice in a row was a blessing.

I've been thrown into a world like a space sci-fi novel where my cute scientific knowledge from the modern era didn't work at all, and into a modern zombie apocalypse world. I've even been born in a world like Greek and Roman mythology.

Ah, speaking of zombies, that reminds me.

Of the faces and screams of the group I was traveling with back then, through the window.

Those people, who watched me being bitten alive by a horde of zombies I lured with sound after locking the door, are they still alive?

The situation of a young girl using herself as bait to lure zombies and being eaten alive right before their eyes, it was quite interesting.

Especially since the people I was traveling with were kind and naive.

I even had an older sister.

If I had to choose the most memorable experience of my lives, it would probably be that one.

Ah, I got excited.

—Clang!

"Ugh—!"

"Ah! A-Are you alright!?"

Did I accidentally put too much force into it? The sword of the knight I was sparring with flew far away.

You might say, how strong could a little girl be, but—if you properly aim for the timing when the opponent starts to focus their strength and deliver a blow with good weight transfer, even a child can easily defeat an adult.

If you strike just as the sword reaches its peak, before it starts to descend, they have no choice but to collapse helplessly.

Besides, my opponent was going easy on me.

It was my own unique swordsmanship, ingrained in my body after countless years that I can't even remember.

Even if it's just an imitation without a proper teacher.

If a soul exists, perhaps it's safely stored there.

"...I'm fine. However, your growth is truly unbelievable. At your age..."

"Heehee—It's all thanks to your excellent teaching."

"Humility can be a poison if taken too far. At times like this, you should just be happy."

"Okay!"

Teacher smiles bitterly and ruffles my hair roughly. I call him Teacher Fayne. He's a retired knight who now works as a swordsmanship instructor.

Even though his touch is rough, it carries a certain affection, so I enjoyed it.

I don't like it when my hair gets messed up, but as you get older, you tend to fidget and become talkative, so knowing that, I should endure it.

It's been ㅡ a little over three years since I started learning swordsmanship, officially? For them, it must be quite shocking to see a young girl, without proper muscle development, defeat a seasoned knight.

Thanks to that, I'm playing the role of a genius that doesn't suit me.

But this will all be helpful for the future.

"I should brag to big sis Anna~ I'll get head pats!"

"...It seems you're quite fond of Princess Anna."

"Yes! I really like her! She's very pretty, kind, and… well, I just like her!"

Fayne's expression darkens rapidly as I mention big sis Anna. Ah, is it because I said I'd brag to her?

Well, as an older knight, he must be quite perceptive.

He probably noticed that my sister is feeling inferior.

Inferiority complex. Not being satisfied with one's own accomplishments.

He's probably worried that someday, the word "one's own" will change, and she'll start comparing her accomplishments to those of others.

Is that what they call an inferiority complex?

Don't worry, Fayne.

She's already doing a good job of that.

"Heehee~ I'm going to get praised~ Praised~"

"...Thank you for your hard work today, Princess Aris."

"Okay~ See you later, Teacher~"

Thinking about what I have to do next, a deep smile forms on my face.

What kind of expression will she make when I tell her that I beat Fayne? Will she freeze? Or will she hate me? Will she be jealous? If I lean into her, she'll reluctantly pat my head.

Ah, I'm already excited.

I want to do the same to Remi, but… how should I put it, her aura is too bright for any inferiority complex to take root…

I think she'll probably just like me more every time I show a good side of myself.

Whenever I did something even slightly impressive, it was always Remi's job to brag about it.

Actually, I've helped Remi with her homework a few times, and instead of being jealous, she was busy carrying me to our parents' meeting to praise me.

Bursting through the door, no less.

'Momm—! Daddd—! Aris is… Aris is…!!'

'R-Remi? W-What's wrong?'

'She's a super genius—!!!!'

' '.......' '

Our kind parents quietly sent us back without a word. Dad even tried to praise me along the way, but got a slap on the back from Mom.

Uh… Ever since that incident, I've just been showering Remi with affection without thinking too much.

It was so embarrassing back then.

It was a powerful psychic attack. My face turned bright red.

Is Remi a ghost type?

Since with those types, it's more effective to get hurt or take attacks in front of them.

How should I get hurt in front of Remi?

"Hum hum~♬"

I headed towards the private residence where big sis Anna was resting, indulging in fun imaginations.

Tra-la-la.

Heehee.

**

"So~ I went 'Clang' and swung my sword—"

"...Yes…"

In the afternoon, with nothing to do. In my room, where I was previewing tomorrow's lesson, as always, that child came to visit.

Aris.

Our precious little sister, who came into our family.

Every time I stroke her soft and beautiful hair, like silk, a warm feeling travels from her head to my hand.

Aris loved it when I patted her head. I don't know why. She should go to a lively sister like Remi instead of a charmless sister like me.

Strangely, Aris was as attached to me as she was to Remi.

Thanks to that, Remi sulked for a while. Really.

"—And so, I beat Sir Fa… I mean, Teacher Fayne!"

"...You beat him...?"

"Yes! Teacher said I did well~!"

At her words, I unconsciously stop my hand. My chest feels tight.

Aris is a genius. A known fact.

At a young age, she learned to read and write, to wield a sword, and the words she occasionally muttered to those with worries contained wisdom that was unthinkable for someone her age.

Our parents were surprised too.

Yes, you've already beaten Fayne.

Amazing.

How amazing.

"Yes. Aris won..."

"Heehee~ Pat my head more—"

"—Ah. Okay..."

I resume my hand movements. The small child snuggles closer to me.

It feels like a lump is forming in my chest. A hot sigh, unable to escape, keeps swirling inside.

My body grows hotter, and my touch becomes rougher.

Tight.

"Ah, it hurts!"

"......"

It's suffocating.

"B-Big sis!!"

"......"

I want to throw up.

Why, is this child—

"—Big sis!!!"

"....Ah...?"

A loud voice rings in my ears. Startled, I look down and see Aris, clutching my hand and shouting.

With a tearful face.

Ah.

I look at my hand.

My hand, tightly gripping Aris's hair.

Ah...?

What, was I thinking just now?

"Ah, Aris! Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"Wuuu.... It hurts..."

I hurriedly let go of her hand. Aris was crying, saying it hurts.

My mind goes blank at the fact that a child who never showed any signs of pain, even when she was injured or had a bad cold, was now crying.

I don't remember what happened next.

When I came to my senses, Aris, who had somehow stopped crying, was being led out of the room by Remi, who had appeared at some point.

After the two of them left, I let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the wall, collapsing to the floor.

The floor was so cold.

I stared at my two trembling hands.

"What... was I just...?"

**

Ah, this is so good.

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