The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 5 〉 Chapter 5. Curse.

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"There, there... Are you okay now, Aris? Should I scold big sis Anna? Hmm?"

To be honest, I was surprised.

Because it was much faster than I expected. And for it to manifest physically, this is truly unexpected.

Was it already festering that badly inside? Hmm... according to my plan, it should have been safe for a few more years. The pace is too fast.

You have the qualities of a yandere... Big sis Anna...!

This little sister is so moved!!

At that moment, when my head was grabbed tightly and almost crushed, I could clearly see big sis Anna's eyes.

Dark, lifeless eyes.

It's a leap, but if what she was holding at that time wasn't a pen but a knife—

What would have happened?

"I love big sis Remi~"

"Honestly... I was so surprised when I heard Aris crying while walking by..."

"Hehe~ Sorry..."

It was just a brief imagination, but my mouth was already agape. I buried my face in Remi's chest, lest anyone see.

But not yet.

Not yet.

In this vast world, no one grieves the death of a stranger.

Why? Because they're a stranger.

Because I've never seen them before. Because they're not family.

Because they're not precious.

When I become a more precious person to them, when I reach a high position that can't be exchanged for anything—

That's when I want to die.

I'm a believer in tragedy, and I hold the wish that my life would be written as one.

I don't want to be the protagonist of a common, ordinary story, like a homeless person freezing to death on the side of the road, devoid of fun, emotion, or lessons.

Because nothing is more despairing than that.

I'd rather slowly grow old and die in this peaceful everyday life.

Tug, tug, I pulled on Remi's sleeve.

She looks at me. Remi, as always, is really pretty.

I bet she'd be even prettier when she cries.

"Let's go to my room."

"Huh...?"

"I... saved some snacks... to eat together..."

I trailed off, saying those words. It's a reward for the hide-and-seek we played earlier.

They're snacks made with great care by a truly first-class chef, the kind that everyone would like, but I don't feel anything special about them.

I can't taste things very well.

I was so messed up back then that I couldn't even realize I'd lost my sense of taste.

I could only feel some taste when I ate spicy peppers, black pepper, or things like that.

If I had to say, it's not taste, but sensation.

Thanks to that, I don't feel much attachment to the snacks I receive. Honestly, if I were blindfolded and given a cookie made of mud and a cookie baked by a chef, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Crunchy, with crumbs falling to the floor.

Yes, yes, they're similar.

Actually, it's not just my sense of taste, but all the sensations in my body are a bit off. Well, it can't be helped.

It could be that my mind is messed up from repeated deaths, or maybe it's a dissonance between my soul and body? I don't know the reason. And I don't want to know.

Knowing wouldn't help me at all.

For me, the present is the most important.

Anyway, because of that, I secretly stored the snacks I received and offered them to big sis Remi, who loves sweets.

Yes, yes, a mother is full just by watching her child eat.

"..Okay! Let's go and eat them together!"

"Big sis... You'll gain weight."

"Ouch! D-Don't poke me!"

—Squish

Enjoying the feeling of Remi's soft side fat, I headed towards my room.

Hmm... Seriously, she might gain weight if she's not careful... Big sis...

Should I make her exercise...? Should I reduce her snacks...?

Ah, by the way, big sis Anna's face—

It was really, good.

It looked like someone had done something to her.

To my sister, of all people.

Should I look into it seriously later?

If I find the culprit, I should praise them.

I'll stamp a "Good Job" sticker right on their face.

**

I've seen countless worlds so far.

There were orthodox fantasy worlds where different races like dragons and elves lived and breathed, and interesting worlds where demons and gods openly revealed themselves.

There were worlds where humans dominated and enslaved other races, and conversely, worlds where humans were on the verge of extinction.

Besides those, there were worlds with absolute monarchies where power was concentrated in the center, worlds where a strengthened feudal system with powerful lords was prevalent, and worlds where peasant rebellions succeeded and republics were established.

Even in similar world settings, the intricate pieces that make up each world were all different.

"A book... about curses?"

"Yes! I'm curious! I want to see it!"

"Wow... You're quite unique, Princess."

"Heehee~"

I came to the library. Tessa, the librarian, greets me familiarly when she sees me.

I love her blue hair that reminds me of the sea, so I often ask if I can touch it.

It even smells a bit like the ocean.

At first, she was terrified and bowed when she realized I was a princess, but over the years, we became close enough to drop formalities.

Well, if you worry about every little thing, you'll be exhausted.

You should live life with ease.

"Curses... Well, it shouldn't be a problem for a princess like you. It's over there~ At the very end on the left~"

"Okay! Thank you, Tessa~"

Interestingly, in this world, there were no wizards who shot fireballs and turned the sky upside down.

That's a shame, isn't a wizard a staple of fantasy?

Instead, there were shamans, who made a living practicing shamanism.

To put it simply, they're like wizards who specialize in curses and buffs.

Because of that, you might think their reputation is in the gutter, but their usefulness makes them indispensable to the nation.

Curses.

Big sis Anna's sudden change.

The gap is too wide to simply be a miscalculation on my part.

Do you know how many times I've died in front of others so far—?

To write a tragic script, understanding the feelings of others is more important than anything else.

It's not to brag, but I'm confident in reading the emotions of others.

Although I've made mistakes occasionally because I'm not very good at the entertainment aspects... Big sis Anna's behavior is mostly unrelated to my weak areas.

I hate yanderes... They're the main culprits of route destruction...

So, there's probably something else going on.

"Curses... Mental type... it's at the very end. Contains 14 chapters. Hmm."

A girl researching mental magic in the corner of a dark library... This is precious...

Honestly, I don't think reading a couple of books like this will allow me to grasp everything about curses.

They say that a person who hasn't read any books is scary, but the scariest person is the one who has only read one book, right? Well, there's a saying like that. (TL Note: It’s the Bruce Lee practice kick quote thingy)

However, I should be able to find at least a minimal clue.

What I'm looking for is a curse that causes a sudden change in personality, especially one that changes it in a negative direction.

Well, I'm happy because it seems to be helping me, but in general, it's considered a curse that changes one's personality for the worse.

Flip, the pages of the book keep turning.

"Rather than manipulation... Guidance, or subconsciousness. Hypnosis takes too long, so pass."

Although it's called shamanism, but in the end, all unrealistic things like magic and such are connected, so it was easy to grasp.

It's not that she developed a personality or behavior she didn't have before.

Big sis Anna definitely felt inferior to me—and it simply manifested extremely in the form of violence because she couldn't suppress it.

So, is it the manifestation of the subconscious, or is it blocking her rational thinking by increasing her emotional instability?

Rational thinking...

"If things continue like this, big sis will become the heir."

It's obvious. As the legitimate child, the next throne is practically guaranteed.

Big sis Remi, the second child, is often lazy and doesn't have the desire to become queen in the first place.

As for me, I'm too young.

Then, there's sufficient reason to target big sis Anna.

This incident probably wasn't aimed at me. There's no reason or benefit to doing so.

This incident is like, a side income, I guess.

Is it the work of some idiot who wants to shake big sis Anna's mind and manipulate her to their liking?

And I got caught up in it.

"Hmph... This is boring..."

"Princess Aris? What, have you finished reading already?"

"Yes..."

Thump, I hand the book back to Tessa and leave the library.

Really, no excitement, no fun.

—And no brains either, what a bad writing.

Curses that affect the mind are high-level curses in themselves, and therefore very difficult to cast.

They don't just work easily after being cast once, they require a medium to continuously inject the curse into the target.

Something that needs to be carried on the body at all times.

Underwear, clothes, or accessories.

"Hmm, is it that?"

I heard that a Duke recently gifted a pair of earrings made with black pearls.

Big sis seemed to like them and often wore them on her right ear.

Since they weren't detected by any detection talismans, it means that they were probably ordinary earrings at first, and then secretly switched with cursed earrings when the opportunity arose.

Little by little, was he planning to slowly brainwash her during her childhood when her mind isn't fully developed?

Oh dear.

I already called dibs on big sis.

If there's something that Duke didn't predict, it's that big sis is in a much more precarious state than he thought.

Since cracks are already appearing like this.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time before she's found out. Hmm.

"Ugh..."

I start a new calculation. I add the effect of the mind-altering curse to my constant prodding and poking at my sister's side.

In my jumbled memories, this kind of situation wasn't unheard of. Rather, it happened quite often, and it was a method I used a few times myself.

Tag, Mind Break. Super fun.

Originally, the timeframe I had in mind was about 5 years... Hmm...

About, 2 years? No, it could be 1 year if it's short.

The time left until the explosion, that is.

Boom~!

"Hehehe!"

Ah, this is going to be fun.

Turning an unexpected situation into part of the script.

That's what it means to be a professional director.

Now, how should I cook this up?

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