Untouchable Lovers

Chapter 122: Chapter One Hundred and Twelve The Most Precious

“I’m really sorry, Sister, for accidentally killing one person, I’ll send you ten more another day,” Liu Ziyue offered this as the only supplemental explanation for his actions.

On the day of Moxiang’s death, Chu Yu stepped outside and noticed a little incense burner lying on the ground by the door. Recalling the sound of something falling as the door was pushed open, she realized that Moxiang had actually come to change the incense in the room but had lost his life within a few short exchanges.

Chu Yu didn’t know how she returned to Jiankang, or rather, she was so immersed in her own world that she couldn’t bother with the people and things around her.

The only thing she remembered was Liu Ziyue’s careless words, as if he was saying, “Sorry, I broke one of your cups, I’ll send you ten more to make up for it another day.”

But cups are not the same as each other, each one is unique in its own way. How could he, who regarded human life as nothing, understand that?

Chu Yu and Moxiang were not particularly close. Besides that time when Moxiang attempted to seduce her in bed, they hardly spent any time alone together. Her entire impression of him was merely his tender and pitiable appearance, and the composed and serene demeanor he displayed after taking over Huan Yuan’s work.

The return journey did not meander, nor did it involve many stops along the way, and thus it was much quicker than the journey out. In not many days, they arrived in Jiankang, Liu Ziyue returned to the Imperial Palace, and Chu Yu to her own Princess Mansion.

Although things seemed similar, the people were not the same. As Chu Yu slowly stepped into the place she had left over a month ago, a phrase involuntarily came to mind. Some people were still around, but others would never be there again.

And when she saw Rong Zhi, she tensed up unconsciously.

As Chu Yu had ordered that the news of Moxiang’s death not be spread, Rong Zhi had also not received the message. He stood waiting at the doorway of her residence, smiling gently. His complexion was somewhat pale, indicating he might have been ill and weak, yet his demeanor was still remarkably relaxed and at ease. “It’s been several days since I last saw the Princess, are you well?” he asked with a smile.

Chu Yu looked at him, her mind a blank. Moxiang had been cultivated by Rong Zhi himself, likely with much effort. How should she tell Rong Zhi that Moxiang was no more? That he had just happened to arrive at the doorway while Liu Ziyue was pouring out his heart and become a spirit under Zong Yue’s sword?

Seeing Chu Yu’s silence, a hint of puzzlement showed on Rong Zhi’s face. Then he smiled, opened the door, and said, “I’ve forgotten that the Princess has returned from a long journey, surely you must be tired. Please come in and rest.”

Chu Yu followed his suggestion and entered the room, sitting woodenly in a chair. She watched as Rong Zhi poured the prepared hot tea into a cup and began slowly, “There’s something I need to tell you.” The news of Moxiang’s death had to be said, and she felt it should come from her.

It was her responsibility.

Rong Zhi, still smiling, placed the teacup on a black lacquered tray and brought it before her. “Please go ahead, Princess. Actually, I’ve been waiting here for the Princess because there’s something I want to ask for, no, there’s a favor I seek.”

Meeting his bright, snow-like gaze, Chu Yu felt her resolve begin to dissipate. She turned her eyes away and said in a low voice, “You go first.”

“Alright,” Rong Zhi didn’t hold back and placed the tray on the table, then sat down on the chair across from her, his body half-turned towards her, “This favor is on behalf of someone else. Do you still remember that girl named Fendai? The frail-looking girl that was reassigned to work for you by your order?”

“Of course, I remember her. What about her?”

Rong Zhi lowered his head and smiled, “Actually, Moxiang had some affection for this girl, so on his behalf, I would like to ask the Princess for a favor, to grant Fendai to him.”

Upon hearing Moxiang’s name, Chu Yu’s face turned pale, and after a long pause, she began hesitantly, “Moxiang, Fendai? I never noticed any indication that…”

Rong Zhi smiled faintly, “In truth, it was only Moxiang’s own feelings; Fendai wasn’t aware of it. That’s why I made a special trip today to ask for the Princess’s permission on their behalf. Please grant their request.” His eyes and hair were of a pure, jet black, seemingly capable of absorbing all the light of time, further accentuating his snow-like skin.

It felt as if an invisible hand had grasped her heart, stopping her breath and causing pain in her chest. Chu Yu gave a miserable smile, closed her eyes and said, “Rong Zhi, Moxiang is dead.”

She had thought many times before about how to break the news of Moxiang’s death. Before revealing the critical information, she had considered how to lessen the impact of this event. But when it came down to it, she still chose to express it in the simplest way possible.

Having finally spoken, the invisible hand that had grasped her heart dissipated into nothingness. Her heart, numb for so many days, finally felt something else. Complex emotions intertwined, assaulting her chest.

If in the past Moxiang had been nothing more than an unfamiliar image in her heart, accompanied by a faint scent, then now, several days after his death, he had become fully fleshed out in her mind. He too was a living person, with someone he cherished, his own hopes, and desires.

But he was dead, and all of that was gone.

After a while, Chu Yu opened her eyes and said, “Rong Zhi, I’m sorry.”

She turned to look at Rong Zhi’s expression. He wasn’t particularly sad; his pure black eyes showed a faint surprise. After a moment, he spoke softly, “Princess, what exactly happened?”

Chu Yu slowly recounted the incident, omitting the part about why Liu Ziyue got angry. Her voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible. Suddenly, she felt a cool, soft touch on her hand. Looking up in astonishment, she saw Rong Zhi’s hand reaching across the table that separated them, resting on the back of her hand that was on the armrest. He stared at her calmly and said softly, “Princess, don’t blame yourself. This is not your fault.”

Chu Yu pressed her lips together as if hesitating, but in the end, she still voiced the thoughts in her heart, “No, I cannot forgive myself, not just for this reason.”

Rong Zhi felt the hand he covered tremble slightly, and then he heard Chu Yu’s voice tinged with pain, “I cannot forgive myself because, long after Moxiang’s death, when I came back to my senses, my first thought was actually, ‘Thank goodness it wasn’t you, thank goodness it was Moxiang who came. Thank goodness…'”

Rong Zhi looked up in shock. He clearly saw the girl in front of him biting her lip hard, her teeth almost sinking deep into her flesh. In her clear eyes, there was an unmistakable loathing for herself. Despite her pain and guilt, she was still bravely facing her own darkness, weakness, cowardice, and selfishness.

Chu Yu could not forgive herself for that instant. She could hardly believe that she could have such thoughts. Everyone was innocent; no one deserved death more than another. Yet, in that moment, she felt relief that it wasn’t Rong Zhi who died, but Moxiang.

How terrifying.

Rong Zhi continued to gaze at her quietly. He suddenly felt that Chu Yu had never been more beautiful than she was at that moment. Even though her attire was plain, she wore no makeup, and still bore traces of travel dust on her face and body, there really was no moment more beautiful than now.

Sickness and death are not the most terrifying. In a sense, a person’s greatest enemy is themselves. Not everyone has the courage to face their own flaws openly. Chu Yu’s candor was the source of her pain, as well as a precious form of bravery.

“Princess,” Rong Zhi stood up, walked over to Chu Yu, bent slightly forward, and lifted his hand to wrap around her shoulders, then slowly embraced her in his arms, “Princess, you’ve already been very, very good. Don’t blame yourself anymore. Your thoughts are nothing but the selfishness that everyone has, it’s unavoidable. You do care about Moxiang’s life and death, it’s just that…”

He paused, and even he didn’t realize that his gaze had become extremely tender in an instant, as soft as the water in spring, the clarity in his eyes turning into rippling waves, expanding in circles: “It’s just that you care about me more.”

Rong Zhi embraced Chu Yu, repeating softly, over and over again, “Please don’t blame yourself, this is not your fault.”