Divinity Detox: Gods Gone Viral

The treadmill never stood a chance.

Thor—formerly the Norse God of Thunder, wielder of Mjölnir, slayer of giants—was now just Tommy, a gym owner in flannel who desperately wanted one normal day.

That wasn’t happening.

Because right now, he was standing in the center of Mjölnir Fitness, staring at the smoking remains of yet another destroyed treadmill.

His biceps twitched. The air smelled like fried circuitry.

The gym members stared.

A guy on the rowing machine slowly stopped rowing. A woman mid-squat took out her AirPods, blinking.

Tommy exhaled slowly. "Okay. Who jinxed me?"

Silence.

Then, from the back of the gym, a voice piped up.

"Bro, I think you sneezed too hard."

Tommy turned very slowly toward the speaker. "I did not sneeze. I was deadlifting."

"It was kinda like… a lightning sneeze."

Tommy’s left eye twitched. He closed his eyes and counted to three, reminding himself that he was now a mortal-adjacent business owner

The ceiling light exploded above him in a burst of sparks.

Dammit.

His phone buzzed violently in his pocket. He pulled it out, already dreading what he’d see.

A notification from Twitter (or X, whatever mortals were calling it now).

#ThorVsTreadmills is trending worldwide.

Tommy groaned. "By Odin’s receding hairline…"

From across the room, his assistant manager, Greg, cleared his throat. "So, uh… another one down?"

Tommy sighed. "Put it on my tab."

Greg hesitated. "Boss, uh… your tab is kinda high."

"How high?"

Greg handed him a crumpled invoice.

Tommy looked at the number.

He immediately wished he hadn’t.

"That much… for treadmills?"

Greg coughed. "And, uh… the last ceiling repair."

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is fine."

It was not fine.

This was the fourth treadmill this month. His fading divine powers were supposed to be manageable, but every time he pushed himself too hard at the gym, his lightning went rogue.

And now?

Some asshole had uploaded the security footage online, and his entire gym was going viral. Again.

Before he could dwell on this new nightmare, the front door swung open violently, and in walked…

A coyote.

A literal coyote, tail flicking, golden eyes gleaming with way too much intelligence.

Tommy narrowed his eyes. "Oh, Hel no."

The coyote grinned. Then, in a blink, it was gone—replaced by a lean, smirking man in a leather jacket, his black hair tied back, chaos gleaming in his gaze.

"Hey, big guy," said Coyote, the Native American trickster god, flashing a too-white smile. "I saw the video. Nice form."

Coyote, much like Loki, thrived on chaos. While Thor had been smashing frost giants, Coyote had been tricking hunters, warping fate, and pulling pranks that reshaped entire civilizations.

Now? He was apparently rigging gym equipment for fun.

Tommy groaned. "What do you want, Coyote?"

Coyote leaned against the counter, pulling out a phone. "Just thought I'd drop by. You know, say hi. Maybe sabotage another treadmill."

Tommy stared. "You rigged it?"

Coyote winked. "What? Me? Mess with fate?

Tommy's left eye twitched harder.

Coyote pulled up a video on his phone, playing it at full volume.

"Yo, yo, yo, welcome to another episode of ‘Destroying White Guy’s Gym Equipment for Clout’!"

The video showed Coyote at the gym the night before, grinning at the camera as he placed a glowing rune beneath the treadmill.

Then it cut to Tommy accidentally detonating it mid-lift.

Tommy exhaled through his nose. "I am going to kill you."

Coyote grinned wider. "Technically, you can’t. Mortal rules and all."

Before Tommy could physically throw him out, the treadmill wreckage sparked again.

But this time, the smoke curled into something unnatural.

A glowing rune shimmered in the wreckage, burned into the gym floor.

Not just any rune.

A Norse rune.

And worse? It was one he recognized.

Tyr.

Tommy felt a cold dread settle in his gut.

Coyote’s smirk faded. He crouched next to the rune, tapping his fingers on the floor. "Huh. That’s weird."

Tommy’s stomach churned. "Yeah."

Because if Tyr’s symbol was showing up in random gym equipment…

Something very, very bad was coming.

To be continued…