Divinity Detox: Gods Gone Viral

There were three undeniable truths about Loki:

1. He was the Norse God of Mischief.
2. He could lie, steal, and scheme his way out of anything.
3. He absolutely should not have been trusted with an internet connection.

Unfortunately, no one had stopped him.

Which was why, at this very moment, Loki sat in the back of a hipster coffee shop, scrolling through his latest viral TikTok.

@LokiTheOG: Zeus vs. Climate Change—who wins? ☁️⚡☕ #StormDaddyMeltdown

The video showed a visibly drunk Zeus—formerly King of Olympus, Lord of the Skies, and current disgraced weatherman—hurling a stapler at a green screen while shouting, "I CONTROL THE WEATHER, YOU MORTAL SCUM!"

It had three million views.

Loki smirked, sipping his oat milk latte. "Beautiful."

"Is that really how you spend your time now?"

Loki didn’t even flinch as Anubis slid into the seat across from him, placing a black coffee on the table.

Anubis—Egyptian God of the Afterlife, former soul judge, and current true crime podcaster

Loki grinned. "Oh, come on, death boy. You can’t tell me that’s not hilarious."

Anubis sighed. "Zeus has completely lost it."

"Yeah," Loki said, stirring his coffee, "but now he’s lost it on camera."

Anubis shook his head. "The gods are falling apart, Loki. You see that, right?"

Loki shrugged. "What else is new?"

Anubis pulled out his phone. "This."

He tapped the screen.

A video played. Low resolution. No filters. No jokes.

A dimly lit warehouse. A group of figures in robes.

And in the center?

A dead body.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Morbid even for you, jackal boy."

Anubis didn’t react. "Watch."

Loki sighed, leaning in. The corpse lay stiff, wrapped in silken threads. A voice, distorted and robotic, whispered in the background:

"The Spider spins for the Titan."

Then—the body twitched.

Its eyes snapped open.

It sat up and whispered:

"Prometheus sees you."

The screen glitched out.

Loki frowned. "Okay. That’s… unsettling."

Anubis placed his phone down. "It’s worse than unsettling. It’s spreading."

Loki leaned back, drumming his fingers on the table. "And the silk?"

Anubis’s expression darkened. "Anansi’s."

Loki whistled low. Anansi—the African trickster god and master of stories—wasn’t the kind to work for anyone.

Especially not Prometheus.

Loki’s phone buzzed.

A new comment on his Zeus video.

@Hecate2.0: Your chaos feeds the system.

Loki froze.

His latte art shifted—the foam rippling, distorting into glitching symbols.

Anubis saw it too.

Loki stared at the cursed beverage. "I think my coffee just got hacked."

The shop’s lights flickered.

The corpse’s voice echoed in Loki’s head.

"Prometheus sees you."

And somewhere, in the depths of cyberspace, something watched back.

To be continued…