The Girl Wants to Be Murdered

TL/Editor: Butter Cat

Status: 4/week mon-thurs

Illustrations: none

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〈 Chapter 46 〉 Chapter 46. Gospel.

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Giving love to someone.

If you give it too much water one day, the petals will wither and the roots will rot.

If you get angered by that fact and consistently give it too little water, the stem won't grow, and the leaves will shrivel.

And so, sadly, they all die.

Therefore, you must approach giving love with the mindset that it's synonymous with taking responsibility for a life.

You must always remember that.

When cracking an egg, if you apply too much force, you'll damage not only the shell but also the delicate insides.

And if you apply too little force, you won't even be able to make a dent in the shell.

The word 'Moderation', a word we so easily utter.

We need to reconsider the truly profound meaning it holds.

Yes.

Just like, right now.

"—Sis Sia…!!"

"......Ali...ce..."

Early dawn, in a deep forest where you couldn't see even an inch ahead.

Rustle, guided by her faint, parched, and cracked sound, I pushed through the undergrowth and moved forward.

I called out her name softly, and a reply, almost like a groan, reached my ears.

Thorns from the vines that tried to pull me back, as if saying not to go there, pricked my skin, but I continued towards where Sia was.

It seemed the injury I had sustained that day had been more serious than I had thought. Even now, three days later, my vision was still blurry, my head spinning, and my footsteps faltered.

It hurts.

I'm tired, and I want to rest.

The unusually heavy gravity pulled me down, but I couldn't be held back by something like that.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to clear my mind, and with my useless eyes closed, I relied on sound to guide me, taking one step at a time.

Even if my legs gave way and I collapsed.

Even if my body wouldn't obey me.

If I lost my legs, I would crawl with my one remaining arm.

Forward, constantly forward.

There

Because she's there, waiting for me.

Just like me, in the past.

There's a child, whose had everything crumbled.

I couldn't help but go to her.

Because helping those like her is the meaning, the destiny that has been bestowed upon me.

"Sis, long time no see."

".....Ah…aaah…!"

"....You've become a real crybaby while I was gone, Sis Sia."

"—It's been, a long time."

Hug.

I threw myself at her and hugged her.

**

A place where even the soft moonlight couldn't fulfill its duty.

The child, who seemed to struggle even to stand upright, was walking alone through the dark forest despite her condition.

She refused my help, refused to escape those painful memories and start a new, happy life far away.

'…Please… Big Sis…!'

'.......'

Alice, so cruelly, left my embrace.

To reach out to someone else, to hold someone's hand, Alice staggered forward, her empty sleeve fluttering in the wind.

Even if there was no hand waiting for her when she reached out.

Even if her kindness would result in another deep wound, like this time.

The child would never stop.

'I beg you… Big Sis…!!'

Because that's who Alice was.

"...."

Snap, the branch in my hand broke weakly.

I squeezed it tightly, until I could no longer hear a sound coming from my tightly clenched hand.

Crunch, crunch.

A few seconds passed, and I bit my lip hard, scattering the remnants of the branch that had now completely crumbled to powder.

The powder, carried by the wind, slowly dissipated into the air.

Yes.

The world was cruel.

And to this child, it was especially cruel.

Alice stumbled over rocks, sometimes bumped her head against a tree she couldn't see, and yet, she kept walking toward the human who was calling her name, apologizing.

They desperately called out to each other, their voices the only guide in this darkness.

They relied on sound to move their unstable bodies.

If they fell, they got back up.

If they collapsed from exhaustion, they crawled.

The distance between them, closed with every step, every hardship they endured.

But why were the wounds, inflicted one by one as they drew closer, the agonizing pain that was unbearable for her fragile body, increasing?

It was as if the entire world existed solely to torment Alice.

If a god existed, it must be an evil god.

Otherwise, there's no way a devil disguised as a god would be standing beyond the world, mocking the child, waving its hand.

Despairing at the overwhelming malice, the absurdity of the world's cruelty targeting a single person, my heart burned black as I watched from afar.

I watched her pitiful figure, and I had no choice but to force myself to pull back the hand I had extended towards her.

Of course, I wanted to stop it.

I wanted to put an end to it, right now.

But if I approached her now, she would surely grab my blood-stained hand and try to escape with me.

Faced with this miserable reality, I might have even used the child's kindness to bind her to me, preventing her from going anywhere.

So I had to lower my outstretched arm.

The moment I let go of the child from my embrace, the moment I carried her near to that human lying there like a corpse, I had no other choice.

I could only watch from afar.

I had no right to stop her.

I, who had also hurt the child and received salvation in return, had no right to stop her.

So, even if I wanted to stop her.

Even if I wanted to take Alice, who was sacrificing herself for another, and escape to a paradise where only the two of us existed.

Even if I harbored such a hideous desire, a desire only a monster could have.

The only thing I could do was clench my teeth, climb a tall tree, and etch the child's figure into my mind.

Yes.

It was a truly, pathetic sight.

"....I.... I...!!"

".....But it's okay, Big Sis. I forgive you."

Saaak, a cold wind blew, shaking the tree violently.

My body, perched on the branch, also shook back and forth, but that wasn't enough to distract me from the child.

At this moment, my eyes existed solely to see the child, and my ears were created solely to hear her words.

So, don't interrupt.

I'll kill you, you know?

—Whoosh!

"......!!!!"

I sent a silent warning to the beast, whose color was that of the useless weeds that littered this mountain, I warned with action.

The green color writhes.

The small twig, that flew straight without making a sound, precisely pierced the figure that was passing beneath the tree I was on.

Thwack, a small spray of blood.

"Mmmpp—!?"

The beast, its body trembling from the pain of the twig embedded in its shoulder, didn't make a sound, but started looking around, searching for the direction the twig had come from.

Eventually, the beast looked up and made eye contact with me, quietly looking down, and was startled, quickly retreating.

I opened my mouth and silently warned it.

'Get. Lost.'

".....!!"

—Thump, thump.

Despite the warning, the clueless beast, as if still clinging to a shred of hope, tried to interrupt Alice's precious time, so I threw a few more twigs.

They lodged themselves in its arm, chest, barely missing its vital points.

Did the searing pain finally suppress its desire? It eventually turned tail and fled.

Anxious that my actions might have disturbed Alice, I looked back at her.

"But.... I...!!"

"—I forgive you, for everything."

Fortunately, it seemed the child hadn't noticed anything.

I let out a sigh of relief, climbed down from the tree, and covered the spot where a small drop of blood had stained the ground with dirt, erasing the evidence.

The reason I didn't kill it was because I didn't want to steal even a short moment from Alice.

And because I didn't want to stain my hands, the hands that would soon embrace the child, with that filthy blood, that was the simple reason.

If it weren't for that, I would have killed it.

"....It must have, hurt a lot."

"No, it didn't hurt at all."

"....You're lying."

"...Umm, a little? Just… a little bit."

"...Haha, what’s that..."

I brushed the dirt off my hands and slowly started walking towards Alice.

The situation seemed to be nearing its end, and I thought about how to join them without it being awkward.

I approached the lovely child, who was waiting for me.

**

In the end, the story ended with everyone involved shedding blood and tears.

Me, Sia, Elli, all of us.

Saving someone else, takes a lot of time.

We saw the dark side, the abyss that everyone carries within them, and we clashed because of it.

Unforeseen events occurred, drastically changing the situation, for better or for worse.

But.

Shedding blood, hurting each other, having everything we believed in crumble from beneath our feet.

That's what life is.

And it was always love and affection, that resolved it all.

"—Will you come with me?"

"......Yes!!"

What we've lost, we can always regain.

The moonlight, emerging from behind the clouds.

It seemed like a blessing, for us, for our future.

**

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